Latest stand-up videos
Best short quotes
Don't boo people! Don't boo! Be more specific! Like, "WHY ARE YOU DOING THAT?! I HATE THAT! I HATE IT!"
When something is "new and improved!". Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.
Thank you ... San Francisco. All right, you're ruining the show. Thank you ... for clapping for what my parents are ashamed of.
I don't mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that's how it comes out.
When they were naming the animals, somebody got lazy: anteater? What's it doing? It's eating ants. DONE!
A man will rip off your arm and throw it into a river, but he will leave you as a human being intact. He won't mess with who you are. Women are non-violent but they will shit inside of your heart.
You know that look that women get when they want to have sex? Me neither.
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
I think people talk too much anyway. Sometimes people are talking to me and in my mind I'm just like "shut up, shut up, shut up...blah blah blah blah blaaaaah."
I don't make it in regular channels, and that's okay for me.
What is stand-up comedy?
Stand-up comedy is a performance for a live audience. Usually one or multiple performers called comics or stand-up comedians are speaking directly to their audience. Typically a performer tells a routine of jokes or funny monologue with various stories and anecdotes chained together.
It's not uncommon for acting, pantomime, magic tricks * or singing to be used to increase variety of such performance.
In United Kingdom stand-up comedy began gaining popularity in 18th century and raised many great performers like Arthur Askey, Max Miller and Ken Dodd. The comedians were heavily censored and had to get their act approved and adapted to the censorship.
